Want You by Jen Frederick

Author:Jen Frederick [Frederick, Jen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pear Tree LLC
Published: 2018-06-29T04:00:00+00:00

23

Leka

“You look tense, kid,” Beefer declares as we enter the safe room in the basement of Marjory’s. “The boys giving you a rough time? I can knock a few bills off their paychecks.”

“I’m good,” I reply automatically, but truth is, I’ve been feeling anxious lately. I think it’s because Bitsy hasn’t told me what her plans are after she graduates next spring. It’s six months away, but lately she’s been making some noise in her texts about coming home.

Home. I haven’t had a home since she left. The apartment’s a vacant, noiseless tomb. Kind of like me. I’m empty without her. Those texts she sends—the ones that say she misses me and she can’t wait to see me—they’re like darts piercing the most vulnerable parts of my defenses. Every time I get one of those, I have to beat down the instinct to type back, YES, in all caps and bold letters. Because, fuck, yeah, I miss her, but there’s no place for her here.

I take out my phone and double-check to make sure the green dot on my maps app hasn’t moved. It hasn’t. It’s sitting solidly in the upper right corner of her dorm building, which is good since it’s after ten and she should be in bed. I rub my finger over the screen.

It’s been a while since I’ve heard from her. I’m not a good communicator. I hate texting and I hate talking on the phone even more. I try for Bitsy’s sake, but each time I talk to her, it gets harder to stay away.

But that’s what I need to do to protect her.

She hasn’t been back here since Cesaro took over, and in those four years, she’s pretty much faded from everyone’s memory. Most of the crew I oversee is new or didn’t have much contact with her before I shipped her off to school. Only Mary and Beefer make mention of her from time to time and mostly in passing, as if they’re recalling a memory of someone who died. That’s how I want it. I’ve taken great pains to erase her presence around here.

And while I go home every night to eat my dinner with only the hum of the refrigerator to keep me company, I survive knowing that my girl is far from harm. I do it for everyone else’s good, too, because I’d have to kill anyone who looks at her wrong. We already have too much turnover on the crew as it is.

“You don’t sound good. You worried because your money isn’t here anymore?” Beefer reaches into the metal safe bolted to the concrete, grabs a wad of cash and shuts the door. It’s payday for the boys. “Where’d you put all of it anyway?”

I hesitate, because talking about where your dirty loot is stashed with other crooks isn’t a good idea, but this is Beefer. He practically raised me.

On the flip side, Beefer’s been taking a small slice off the top for a while now. He’d probably argue it was a service fee.

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